Ted Cruz (center) tries to avoid a Truly. Screenshot: @wcgroovy/Twitter
Senator Ted Cruz stuck his head out of its dwelling and, like most moles, a bystander tried to hit him with a hammer. During the Houston Astros World Series parade, Cruz thought it would be a good idea to provide intoxicated people with a moving target and hopped on the back of a Hummer to once again bask in the glory of others’ success.
Then someone threw a few cans of Truly at him.
Sen. Ted Cruz is pelted with beer cans during the Astros World Series parade in downtown Houston
The suspected drink thrower was pointed out by a member of Cruz’s unit, and the man was subsequently arrested by Houston police. Joseph Halm Arcidiacono, 33, was charged with aggravated assault and his bail was set at $40,000.
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In the video, Cruz raises a forearm to try to deflect the wayward White Claw, but ends up hitting him in the chest and neck anyway. He didn’t need medical attention and later tweeted that luckily the guy had a “noodle for an arm.”
That’s fucking hysterical Ted, now go to the next rally so your own party can throw drinks and insults at you. Is there a dunk tank or is Blofeld just randomly shocking you in your chair?
The question I have for Arcidiacono is, was it worth it? Your friends will shit on you every time you have a malt drink from now until forever.
“Look out guys, Joe’s got a couple of high noons in him, that look in his eyes and a roadie in his back pocket.”
If I were his attorney, I’d give Patrick Mahomes an apology and say he’s not throwing 12 ounces of malt liquor at the senator as often as he’s offering him something yummy to drink and maybe going viral. It’s not like he broke into his home and allegedly attacked his spouse with a hammer.
Happy election day everyone. Go vote.
